Jo and evil Jo

The heavy hum of electricity woke Jo up. Instantly she was aware of two distinct facts. First that after her night out drinking with Death, who was a party animal, someone had somehow forced an incalculable amount of sand into her mouth, baked it dry and then sucked it out industrially. The second fact was this sand had then been blasted into her eyes.

Initially she tried to ignore this and go back to sleep but something felt wrong. Forcing her heavily glued eyelids open a third fact made itself apparent. She had no idea where she was.

The room had an industrial feel to it but it was dilapidated to the point dereliction. It had obviously not been used for any legal purpose for a very long time.

On the wall in white paint was a message.

I’ve captured you again.

You won’t escape my fiendish death trap this time.

Mwahahaha

Jo only knew of one person who would be so heavy handed in writing Mwahahaha in a message, her evil alter ego, evil Jo.

Jo didn’t know too much about evil Jo, other than every so often she woke up in a situation like this. Her assumption was that at some point in the future she would have a psychotic break and become evil Jo. Then again it was equally possible that this may have already happened in the past and Jo had completely forgotten about it. A downside of living forever and time travelling meant things could get very confusing sometimes.

Jo tried to transport herself out of the room but couldn’t, the space between nowhere was closed to her. Jo looked at the wall with the writing on it, it seemed too solid, too real, to the point of being unreal. She ran her fingers against the bricks, they felt numb to her. This was more than a hangover.

The paint liquefied and ran down the wall forming a second message.

I have disabled all your normal powers.

No teleporting out or transmutating the walls for you!

Mwahahaha

“For fucks sake, are you watching me?” Jo spoke with a hoarse voice. The paint ran again in reply.

I know your every move!

I will allow you to transport 5 items into the room to help you escape.

Mwahahaha

Even in Jo’s groggy condition she knew the trick to this. Spotting a toilet in the corner of the room she made her decision.

For her first item she brought in a fully made up king sized bed from Intergalactic Hotels a five star hotel chain found in 98% of realities with sentient life. For the second she transported in a bottomless supply of water from the fountain of youth; the only true hangover cure. Third was a self replenishing all you can eat buffet. The final item was a laptop connected to every streaming service available.

Climbing into the king sized bed she snuggled down into the Tribble fur duvet, she wasn’t going to go anywhere for the time being. Instead she was going to use this as an opportunity to relax, her life had been too hectic recently.

At some point she would bring the fifth item in for her escape but she literally had all the time in eternity to do so.

“Thank you evil me. I needed this.”

It was evil Jo all along. Guess we all should have seen that coming.