Jo and the nonsense science
“What?” Jo was flabbergasted by Professor Polwold’s comment.
“Professor. Jo.” Professor Polwold switched from Jo’s honorific title to her first name, trying to plead to her humanity. “You have to do it now, if you don’t the very ground we stand on will be ripped asunder.”
“I don’t understand-” The ground shock, interrupting Jo and serving as a terrifying reminder of the stakes.
“We have to-” Doctor Alma, who had made the original suggestion spoke, but Jo interrupted.
“I know what you said and I am fully aware of the consequences. Give me a moment” Jo replied forcefully.
The Professor and the Doctor were the only two people in any reality who had managed to create a temporary bridge over to Birth’s domain. Of all the infinite realities where the two of them worked together this was the only one to succeed. However, there were no records of the event itself, that was why Jo was here personally; to understand more about this doomed experiment and the theory behind it. Over the course of many years she had been amazed by Professor Polwold’s ability in achieving huge break throughs but had become gradually more frustrated with the lack of transparency. Now she understood the source of the opacity.
“Neither of you know what you are doing, do you? All of this is pure fluke.”
The ground spasmed again under Jo’s feet, threatening to bring the building they stood in crashing down to the ground, entombing them.
“I believe the Doctor’s theory is correct.”
“Belief? What is this, religion?” spat Jo.
This was not what she had come for. She had spent time studying with the Technology Corsairs of the outer rim, The Science Monks of Preditor, the Royal Society and many others. Science is a systematic methodology; first you propose a hypothesis for which you undertake observations, experiments and measurements. The results are then analysed with the aim of modifying or eliminating the hypothesis. It is not about blind faith.
“Jo, we don’t have much time.” Professor Polwold was gripping the desk in front of her. “you have to-”
“Repolarise the mass vector by reversing the eigenfrequency interpol.” Jo interrupted “I know what you said”
“Well do it then. Please. I beg of you.”
“You know that none of what you said makes sense. None of it. Mass vector? Mass is a scalar quantity; how could it possibly be a vector. As for repolarising it, well I don’t even know where to start with that.”
“OK, ok, ok but if we could just reverse the eigenfrequency interpol. We could still save the planet.”
“Do you even know what an eigenfrequency is?”
“Jo this isn’t the time for messing around.”
“No. It isn’t. It is time for proper analysis and understanding, not just stringing faintly scientifically sounding words together in the hope that we create magic. This isn’t like writing code in an alien language you don’t understand and then plugging your Mac into a spaceship. This is real life, this isn’t Hollywood”
The professor and the Doctor looked at each other, not understanding the references. “OK what is your suggestion?”
“Well to be honest you are completely fucked. I now understand why this experiment was doomed to fail from the beginning. I had always assumed that you had made a small mistake, after all you are the only people to bridge over to Birth’s domain, do you even realise that?
“er….”
“However, in reality the two of you are completely incompetent. How you have managed to get this far is astonishing. I know what, no who, happens next and I want nothing of it. I’m leaving. Sorry”
Jo left as the veil between Life and Birth’s realms was ripped opened, a thing that should never happen. A being with no form and no conceptualisation came through the shimmering tear.
“Oh dear, this is a shame. Hello, who are you?”
“I’m… I’m… I don’t know” Professor Polwold looked at Doctor Alma, who was turning into mist. Her face was blissful.
“None of that matters anymore. Why don’t you join her?”
The mist twisted and whirled until it formed two solid balls of light, which slowly travelled into the tear. As more and more balls of light passed through the walls towards the tear, the walls themselves became mist. Once all the balls of light had been absorbed, the tear closed and there was nothing.
Yeah, you're fucked
